Psalm 62:5 My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him.
For the record, I'm a Pinterest enthusiast. I love all the ideas and inspiration I find there. But I also believe that the enemy can use Pinterest to make pinners feel inadequate. So I go into every session with a careful heart, knowing that 90% of what I pin looks good in theory, but the chances of it every winding up in my house, in my oven, in my classroom, or in my closet is slim to none.
That said, there is a particular category with which I am especially careful. I've never been a real fan of quotes. I've always felt that if you feel something that strongly, find your own words to voice it instead of using someone else's. It just doesn't seem as genuine if you have to borrow. That's not to say that I'm not inspired by the words of others, and yes, I have a board on Pinterest for "Encouragement." But I am very selective with those pins because I know they have the ability to confuse my fragile heart into feeling emotions that don't belong to me. I've noticed one quote in particular blazing its way around Pinterest lately. It goes something like this:
"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them."
I used to agree with that wholeheartedly. As a wife and a mother and a daughter and a friend, I had expectations. Treat me fairly. Don't take advantage of me. Don't judge me. Use kind words. Respect me. Act your age. Be responsible. Share. Don't hurt me. Tell the truth. Own your mistakes and learn from them. Do what you say you'll do.
Sounds reasonable, right? Who doesn't deserve to be treated that way? My expectations started out as little pebbles on my path. Someone would let me down, and I'd pick up a pebble. At first, it was no big deal. The pebbles weren't heavy, so I'd just slip them into my pocket. Time passed, and the pebbles became rocks. My pockets began to sag with all that extra weight. I felt heavy. I couldn't move forward. Resentment filled my heart, suffocating compassion and love and understanding until those feelings eventually died. I continued living, but it was an ugly life. Anger and resentment consumed me. I banged around my life every day until I fell into bed, exhausted and infuriated, only to wake up and do it all over again.
I guess God got tired of all my banging around because He stepped in and showed me a different way to live. I've learned a new quote that I like even better.
"Expectations are just premeditated resentments."
How many rocks do you have in your pockets today? Can I give you a little bit of tough love?
Why do you believe that anyone has the responsibility to meet your expectations? Who are you to dictate how a person should live when the One and Only has given them the gracious gift of free will? Why are you letting their journey fill you with resentment and anger instead of enjoying your own journey?
Now, don't get upset with me! I asked myself the same questions, and then I looked at my list of expectations with new eyes. First, I asked myself how many of them I failed to meet? I wanted grace, but I wasn't willing to give it. Then I realized that we are all on different paths specifically chosen for us by a God who loves us. Suppose my expectations don't fit with God's plans? Should I expect God to give in to me and my expectations? Well, paint me gold and call me a cow! I'd created this idolized version of myself that expected God (yes, GOD) to submit to me and my desires!
Finally, I wondered...what if God had expectations of me? Imagine that! What if He expected me not to sin, to temper my sailor's mouth, to not yell at the idiot who cuts me off in traffic? And when I went ahead and did those things anyway, what if God resented me? What if He got angry and banged around in Heaven and picked up resentments to store in his pockets? Imagine spending eternity in Heaven with a God like that. Because I fail him every day. Miserably.
Thank You, God, for sending your Son to bear the burden of my failures. Thank You for loving me unconditionally, without expectations. Please grant me the ability to love like You do.
What if we could love like Christ? What if we could be denied and betrayed and beaten and broken, and yet still be gracious? What if it all started with emptying our heavy pockets of expectations and just respecting and accepting people the way they are?
People are going to let you down.
Someone will hurt you some day.
You will feel taken advantage of at some point.
You won't get the credit you deserve.
People won't share with you.
You will be lied to.
People will judge you.
You will be disrespected.
Life will not be fair to you.
Accept that. Respect that. And then let it go.
I know what you're thinking, because I thought it, too. But accepting people as they are does not mean you have to be a doormat. Remember, you have a path to follow, as well. God will show you the way, but it's up to you take the next right step.
Whatever you do, do not pick up those rocks. Just let them be. Empty your pockets and give the ones you have to Jesus.
Maybe He will use them to teach the baby angels how to skip rocks in Heaven.
