Yesterday

John 8:44-45  "You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies. But because I speak the truth, you do not believe Me." 

Yesterday, I met up with some old friends to watch a football game.  The game was horrible, but the conversation wasn't.  We caught up on each others' lives and reminisced about old times.  I laughed a lot...when I wasn't yelling at the TV.

I went home after the game.  Instead of post-game celebrations, I had a date with a laundry basket.  It was back to reality, and back to the place where my mind runs marathons.  As I folded the laundry, I thought about the conversation with my friends from Yesterday.  And I remembered who I was Yesterday.  I cringed as memories slammed into my mind.  It was a massive pile-up, each memory crashing recklessly into the one before it.  Every sin, every mistake, every failure pounded away at my heart, leaving it full of gashes and dents.  Memories of the girl who was always one bad choice away from the pit.  Memories of the girl who tried to find herself in others.  Memories of the girl who ran from God.

Yesterday, I hated myself.  Yesterday, I was convinced I was not worthy of God's love.  Yesterday, I opened the door for the devil and let him strut right into my heart.  

The enemy is smart!  I imagine he carries around a chalkboard with my name on it, tallying every mistake, failure, and sin.  Each tally mark is a weapon he will use against me.

remember when you...  SLASH!

how could you forget that time you...  STAB!

let me remind you how often you...  SLICE!

you've failed too many times.  you've made too many mistakes.  you've sinned too much to deserve love and forgiveness.

I believed the lies.  And the devil laughed.

But yesterday, when I heard his laughter, when my heart was ready to crumble beneath the pile-up of mistakes and failures, I turned away from the enemy's taunts, and I prayed.  I prayed to never be that girl again.  I prayed for redemption.  I prayed for forgiveness.  The laughter faded, and I heard a small, quiet voice say that I was already forgiven.

God doesn't keep tally marks.  He doesn't even own a chalkboard, because there's nothing to write on it. My sins are erased before I even commit them.  Imagine that!  Washed away by the blood of a Savior who knew me and loved me before I was even born!

So why do I listen to the enemy?  Why are his lies so much more believable than the Truth?  Why does it take a massive pile-up of Yesterdays before I recognize his lies and turn away to pray?  I really don't know.  I don't know why it's so much easier to believe the bad than the good.  Jesus asked the same question.  "But because I speak the truth, you do not believe Me. Which one of you convicts Me of sin? If I speak truth, why do you not believe Me?"  (John 8:45-46)

I don't have the answer, but He does.  "He who is of God hears the words of God; for this reason you do not hear them, because you are not of God.”  (John 8:47)

I don't want to let the enemy's lies into my heart.  I want to hear the words of God, so I have to make a conscience effort Today to be "of God" - believing and trusting and serving and giving and praying and loving and forgiving and surrendering.  If Jesus lives in my heart, there won't be any room for the devil's lies.  

Today, I saw a community be "of God" as they celebrated the life of a little boy who went Home to be with His Savior two years ago.  Today, I saw a mother and a father be "of God" as they put their trust in a God who will give purpose to their pain.  Today, I saw friends and family be "of God" as they rallied around these brave parents, giving and serving and loving and praying to keep a little boy's memory alive.  Today, I saw Jesus in hundreds of faces, smiling through tears, with heads bowed and voices singing thanks and praise for the brief life of a baby angel.

You know whose voice I didn't hear Today?  The voice that couldn't find a way in.  The voice that was speechless in the presence "of God."  The voice that turned and ran in fear from a Community of Christ.

Don't let the enemy in.  Don't let him use your Yesterdays.  Tell him that Today, you know that you are loved.  Today, you will believe the Truth.  Today, you will serve your Savior.  

Yesterday is gone.

Today, your heart belongs to Jesus.